Not so great news...read all the way to the end!

So I had been having some trouble back at the beginning of June. I felt like I had a really terrible UTI. Thing is the doctor couldn't find any infection, though he sent a sample to a lab and they managed to grow non-specific bacteria. I went twice because the antibiotics just didn't seem to be working. Next step...a specialist. I am so tired of specialists at this point (a history of problems I won't share here) which I thought were finally figured out and over, and here I was supposedly headed off to another one.

Saturday June the 5th I decided to just go ahead and take the test. You know the test with the little pink lines? Only I used a test with a digital read out. The only reason I took the test was because both times I went to the doctors office (saw two doctors in the practice) was because both of them asked if there was a chance I could be pregnant. Guess they should have just run the test themselves and saved my poor body all those antibiotics. Yes that is right, I am pregnant with baby #4.

Apparently when I get pregnant and am on birth control pills my body acts like it has a terrible UTI even though I don't. Of course I instantly went off the pill and my pseudo UTI cleared up almost overnight.

At first I wasn't sure how I felt about being pregnant yet again. My brain had moved on, we were done at three, my visions of how the future was going to go were in place, but it didn't take long for me to start getting used to the idea. At this moment (June 22, 7 weeks pregnant) I am still in disbelief that I am actually pregnant. Not even feeling that morning sick, just a tad bit in the evening. I am tired, but not as exhausted as I remember being with the others.

Week 8 (June 29th)

Well, here I am a week later, June 29th 2010, 8 weeks pregnant and feeling about the same...perhaps this baby has decided to be kind to me and spare me the morning sickness.

Week 11 (July 20th)

I guess I spoke too soon. Although I suppose technically s/he has spared me "morning" sickness as this little seems to kick in at night....right around supper time! I consistently started getting "evening" sick at 9.5 weeks and am now at 11 weeks and it is getting very slightly better. Exhaustion also set in. It's amazing how quickly you forget just how tired you can be! All in all my mind is starting to adjust to the addition to the family, though I must admit to some panicky feelings when I try and picture myself getting 4 kids out the door to school come February. Two in school and two to stay with me. Maybe my in-laws will spell me for a few weeks and take Nathan and Emily to school for me...I suppose that I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I figure it never hurts to be prepared.

Oh by the way my official due date is February 8th. If this little one goes late I could end up having a mothers day baby (Emily), an Easter baby (Megan), AND a Valentine's baby! Wouldn't that be interesting :) That would be six days past due date...Megan went 8 days past. Of course if s/he is born on Valentines day s/he would be my only non-Sunday baby. All three of the others have been born on a Sunday.

August 19, 2010

Since today is the day of hope, speaking up and remember child loss wether it is through miscarriage, stillborn, infant death, or accident, I am going to celebrate the brief life of my fourth child. I wasn't going to post this, but feel like I would like you to share with you and sort of get it all out there.

I have been feeling like it is taboo to speak of my miscarriage which happened three weeks ago yesterday, but have since decided I have every right to grieve, openly or otherwise. Man I thought I was done tearing up at the drop of a hat, but here I sit with tears leaking our of my eyes!

Overall I am doing well. I have many blessings and know that God has his hand on all things. I am thankful that if happened fairly early (12 weeks), that I have three healthy wonderful living children, that my husband loves me so much, and for the friends and family who knew when it happened and grieved with me.

Returning Home

Well, I had a marvelous weekend away from my crazy, can't keep it neat, or tidy, or clean house. I went to a Ladies Retreat up at Canby Grove Conference Centre (in Canby, Oregon). My friend Megan and I left Friday and came home Sunday afternoon. I wasn't sure I was going to get to go. Thursday night about, oh 8:00 PM I started not feeling so well. Everyone in our house except Nathan and I had already caught this particular stomache bug. Sure enough (almost two weeks since the last person had it) I caught it. All night I made visits to the bathroom, still determined to go to retreat. The next morning I got up and called my father-in-law and asked if he would take the kids to school, left my youngest in bed (she was happy and singing to herself), and proceeded lay down on the couch and try to convince myself I wasn't sick. I'm glad I did go, even though I missed Friday evenings speakers and slept instead. I felt much better the next day and back to normal by Sunday.

I love coming home after being away from my family. My marvelous husband had made sure the kitchen was CLEAN! Better than I ever seem to manage. My four year old informed me she missed me sooo much but that she still loved me as much now as she did before and that none of her love had gotten lost :) Made my heart warm. My son proceeded to eat 3.5 big bowls of the black beans and rice I made like he had been starved all weekend and pronounced it soooo goooood. Megan (my Mega roo, not my friend Megan...confusing I know) on the other hand, who had apparently been missing me all weekend, singing songs about "mommy back?" really didn't want much to do with me. Oh she didn't fully ignore me, but she wanted daddy to hold her and put her to bed which is very unusual. Two days later things are back to normal and she is my little shadow again. I'm glad my shadow plays so well by herself.

Well, aren't I chatty today!

Signing off to start all those chores! Despite the kitchen being clean (which it is no longer of course) nothing else got cleaned and the bathrooms are desperately calling out to me for attention!

Clean kitchen...dirty kids!

Are we done yet?

Well, I feel great this week, which is fabulous. We have had a icky stomach bug making its

way around the family. First my little Megan bug caught it on Saturday, then the next Tuesday my sweet Emily got it and followed it up with 3 days of a different bug, I caught that bug and hurt for almost 4 days, then I thought "whoo hoo, we are done" I cleaned, I sanitized...and wouldn't you know it, David woke up a week and a half later on Friday morning with the original stomach bug that Meg had. Now, starting Monday, Nathan seems to be down with the ouchy tummy stomach bug Emily and I had. Hopefully it'll clear up tomorrow and life can go on. I do not like watching my kids be sick and in pain when there is nothing I can do about it.

I am half dreading catching the original throw uppy bug, I HATE throwing up, but the other half of me just wants to get it over with since there seems to be quite a long incubation period for whatever it is. The cynical part of me figures I will get sick either right before or during a Ladies Retreat I am going on next week.

Ah, well life continues and since I am feeling so well I guess I should go tackle my dishes and the giant pile of CLEAN laundry. At least it is all clean this time. I have kept up on washing it, but folding and putting away after every load is still eluding me. Goal for next week, is to keep on top of the laundry.