Not so great news...read all the way to the end!

So I had been having some trouble back at the beginning of June. I felt like I had a really terrible UTI. Thing is the doctor couldn't find any infection, though he sent a sample to a lab and they managed to grow non-specific bacteria. I went twice because the antibiotics just didn't seem to be working. Next step...a specialist. I am so tired of specialists at this point (a history of problems I won't share here) which I thought were finally figured out and over, and here I was supposedly headed off to another one.

Saturday June the 5th I decided to just go ahead and take the test. You know the test with the little pink lines? Only I used a test with a digital read out. The only reason I took the test was because both times I went to the doctors office (saw two doctors in the practice) was because both of them asked if there was a chance I could be pregnant. Guess they should have just run the test themselves and saved my poor body all those antibiotics. Yes that is right, I am pregnant with baby #4.

Apparently when I get pregnant and am on birth control pills my body acts like it has a terrible UTI even though I don't. Of course I instantly went off the pill and my pseudo UTI cleared up almost overnight.

At first I wasn't sure how I felt about being pregnant yet again. My brain had moved on, we were done at three, my visions of how the future was going to go were in place, but it didn't take long for me to start getting used to the idea. At this moment (June 22, 7 weeks pregnant) I am still in disbelief that I am actually pregnant. Not even feeling that morning sick, just a tad bit in the evening. I am tired, but not as exhausted as I remember being with the others.

Week 8 (June 29th)

Well, here I am a week later, June 29th 2010, 8 weeks pregnant and feeling about the same...perhaps this baby has decided to be kind to me and spare me the morning sickness.

Week 11 (July 20th)

I guess I spoke too soon. Although I suppose technically s/he has spared me "morning" sickness as this little seems to kick in at night....right around supper time! I consistently started getting "evening" sick at 9.5 weeks and am now at 11 weeks and it is getting very slightly better. Exhaustion also set in. It's amazing how quickly you forget just how tired you can be! All in all my mind is starting to adjust to the addition to the family, though I must admit to some panicky feelings when I try and picture myself getting 4 kids out the door to school come February. Two in school and two to stay with me. Maybe my in-laws will spell me for a few weeks and take Nathan and Emily to school for me...I suppose that I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I figure it never hurts to be prepared.

Oh by the way my official due date is February 8th. If this little one goes late I could end up having a mothers day baby (Emily), an Easter baby (Megan), AND a Valentine's baby! Wouldn't that be interesting :) That would be six days past due date...Megan went 8 days past. Of course if s/he is born on Valentines day s/he would be my only non-Sunday baby. All three of the others have been born on a Sunday.

August 19, 2010

Since today is the day of hope, speaking up and remember child loss wether it is through miscarriage, stillborn, infant death, or accident, I am going to celebrate the brief life of my fourth child. I wasn't going to post this, but feel like I would like you to share with you and sort of get it all out there.

I have been feeling like it is taboo to speak of my miscarriage which happened three weeks ago yesterday, but have since decided I have every right to grieve, openly or otherwise. Man I thought I was done tearing up at the drop of a hat, but here I sit with tears leaking our of my eyes!

Overall I am doing well. I have many blessings and know that God has his hand on all things. I am thankful that if happened fairly early (12 weeks), that I have three healthy wonderful living children, that my husband loves me so much, and for the friends and family who knew when it happened and grieved with me.

Busy Bee Day

I am not sure what happened to spring sunshine. I think April forgot to end so that May flowers could bloom. Here we are on the 18th of June and I have little hope that the corn in our garden will be knee high by the fourth of July. I sure hope September and October are extra nice to make up for this wet, cloudy spring.


In other news I had three extra kids added to the household for the day. My niece Bridget, nephew Seth, and my friends little girl Bailey. All in all I find having friends over can be easier than not having them. Other than general supervision and guidance, oh yeah and feeding them, they entertained themselves pretty well. A few squabbles here and there, but nothing serious. However, it amazes me that adding even one more kid can increase the dishes by so very much, but adding three has pretty much emptied my cupboard bare. I have done dishes no less than 5 times today. Amazing. Had a light bulb turn on after supper...I made the kids clear the table, rinse the dishes, and put them in the dishwasher. Revolutionary I tell ya! I guess I can't totally blame the kids for all the dishes. I made home made mac and cheese for lunch, and homemade chicken enchilada's for supper, and am about to finish making two chocolate cream pies.


David and I spent last Saturday cleaning up the downstairs of our house. I think 80% of that was toys. We have reduced the toys downstairs by probably 90% and it looks so nice, and the kids are actually playing with what is there instead of just stirring them into even greater chaos. It will be one week tomorrow that I have managed to keep the downstairs of my house cleaned. I amaze even myself sometimes.


The kids enjoying the pool...so what if it doesn't have any water in it :)

Nathan's Heart

I love my son! Of course I do, he's my son, but let me explain why I got that mommy warm fuzzy feeling in particular.
So Nathan's birthday is August the 10th and because of that we 'celebrated' at school on Thursday, May 27th with cupcakes. He has a little girl in his class who is wheat sensitive and we made special (and quite tasty) wheat free chocolate cupcakes for her and I put the same white frosting on her cupcake as the other chocolate cupcakes. As we are getting ready to hand them out, his fabulous first grade teacher noticed he was looking sad or upset about something. At this point my darling son started to break down and cry (not harsh sobbing, just I'm upset and my eyes are leaking and mouth is sad looking cry). The reason for his tears you ask? Though we had made a special cupcake for Halley, Kylie who has no allergies or sensitivities that I am aware of, doesn't like chocolate. He was upset because she wasn't going to get to enjoy the cupcake. How sweet is that!!! Of course had I known that we probably would have gotten a different kind, but I had no foreknowledge of such a dislike.
On a note off my sons soft heart, I was impressed with the caring and concern shown by the others in his class. Several of the boys in his class got up when they realized he was crying and started patting his back and head and telling him that it was going to be all right. And Kylie, who indeed did not eat her chocolate cupcake, piped up and said "It's OK Nathan, it has white frosting. It's all good!"
I hope all of these children never lose their caring hearts for other people!

A bookworm is born

My heart is filled with warm fuzzies. My son is becoming a bookworm. For the last two days I have found him curled up reading a Horrible Harry chapter book. I LOVE IT!

I have been a bookworm for as long as I can remember. Even before I could read I remember asking and asking and asking my mom and older sisters to read to me. Especially my favorite alphabet book. That in fact was my inspiration to learn to read as fast as I could. I get a kick out of my first grade report card stating that I was struggling with reading...by fifth grade I was reading 11th grade level or more.

I was warned that after having kids I wouldn't have time to read...they underestimated my love of diving into a good christian romance, or comedy, or adventure. I even periodically go back and read some of my childhood favorites like the L.M. Montgomery books, Louisa May Alcott books, and my Narnia series.

My bookshelves are overflowing (literally), but there is always room for another good book.

Emily's 5 and Missing Megan

Well Emily's birthday party went well. On Thursday night I actually woke myself up with a stomach ache worrying over whether anyone would come or not. I hadn't had any RSVPs yet. Seems kind of silly I suppose to worry over that, but her little heart was sure that EVERYONE invited was going to come. Thankfully, though not everyone could come, her two best friends made it plus several other little girls and their siblings, and her three cousins came. I think she would have been happy with just her two best friends. I was pleasantly surprised that her little friend Lilli from Kung Fu joined us with her family. Emily's was the second birthday party of the day, out of three for them.

When we got home we unloaded all the stuff and then I was having Nathan and Emily pick up all the garbage that was in the van. Megan was following me around and I leaned into the van just for a moment to grab the actual garbage can to empty it and when I had done that Megan was gone. I didn't immediately panic. I went through the shop first because she had been peeking in the door way just a minute before, but when I didn't see her there I did start to panic. I suppose I should explain why I panicked so quickly. Megan is my wanderer. Though she is terribly clingy when strangers are around, on her own she explores and she loves to be outside. The last time she disappeared David found her all the way down our driveway and across the bridge heading out towards the main road. This road is easy on/off to the I-5 and it would only take seconds for her to simply disappear forever.

(This picture is taken from our front yard. The driveway is on the right and heads across the picture to the left. )

So after informing David I couldn't find Megan I ran down the driveway to see if I could see her. Nathan followed me and of course I didn't find her. Now panic was setting in. She had been missing for probably 3 or 4 minutes at this point. I came back to the house where David had been searching with no success and then really started panicking. On the verge of tears I went back out to the shop one more time, and David headed down the driveway, one more time. This time, thankfully, there Megan was in the shop calmly playing with...nails! Sorting them from one bucket to another. I sent Nathan running down the driveway to tell David (shouting all the way "We found her...We found her!") and I promptly burst into tears and picked Megan up and headed down the driveway after Nathan.

Even now thinking about it increases my blood pressure!

God is so good and I thank Him for answering my prayers for Megan to be safe and found!

(This picture is taken maybe halfway down our driveway and shows the covered bridge which begins our driveway. Main road is just across this bridge.)

Irresponsible me?

Well I have officially been made to feel like an immature, irresponsible fool! I don't like being berated because I know that I am NOT immature, irresponsible, or a fool.
Now to dissect that, can anyone else make me feel anything? Hmmm, I think the answer is yes. If you care about someone's opinion and they say something hurtful or "get you in trouble" (even if you have done nothing wrong as in my case) they can make you feel hurt or foolish. Now I need to ask myself why do I care about her opinion. She is much older than I, we are not friends, so why does it matter? I guess the only conclusion I can logically come to is that it doesn't matter. However, she is a forceful, opinionated, take control (not charge, but control) kind of woman. To be honest, she scares me and I know for a fact I'm not the only one she scares and makes feel immature and irresonsible.
OK enough of that. Watching my beautiful two year old Meg run circles around the kitchen table shouting "RUN" is helping me put into perspective what is important and worthy to pay attention to...and it isn't an opinionated, old lady!
So this weekend is a bit busy for us. Saturday is baseball game day for Nathan, Sunday is church, board meeting, Emily's birthday party, and possibly church again.
Well, I suppose I should go be responsible and do some work!

Returning Home

Well, I had a marvelous weekend away from my crazy, can't keep it neat, or tidy, or clean house. I went to a Ladies Retreat up at Canby Grove Conference Centre (in Canby, Oregon). My friend Megan and I left Friday and came home Sunday afternoon. I wasn't sure I was going to get to go. Thursday night about, oh 8:00 PM I started not feeling so well. Everyone in our house except Nathan and I had already caught this particular stomache bug. Sure enough (almost two weeks since the last person had it) I caught it. All night I made visits to the bathroom, still determined to go to retreat. The next morning I got up and called my father-in-law and asked if he would take the kids to school, left my youngest in bed (she was happy and singing to herself), and proceeded lay down on the couch and try to convince myself I wasn't sick. I'm glad I did go, even though I missed Friday evenings speakers and slept instead. I felt much better the next day and back to normal by Sunday.

I love coming home after being away from my family. My marvelous husband had made sure the kitchen was CLEAN! Better than I ever seem to manage. My four year old informed me she missed me sooo much but that she still loved me as much now as she did before and that none of her love had gotten lost :) Made my heart warm. My son proceeded to eat 3.5 big bowls of the black beans and rice I made like he had been starved all weekend and pronounced it soooo goooood. Megan (my Mega roo, not my friend Megan...confusing I know) on the other hand, who had apparently been missing me all weekend, singing songs about "mommy back?" really didn't want much to do with me. Oh she didn't fully ignore me, but she wanted daddy to hold her and put her to bed which is very unusual. Two days later things are back to normal and she is my little shadow again. I'm glad my shadow plays so well by herself.

Well, aren't I chatty today!

Signing off to start all those chores! Despite the kitchen being clean (which it is no longer of course) nothing else got cleaned and the bathrooms are desperately calling out to me for attention!

Clean kitchen...dirty kids!