Learning Lessons (Day 7 Sugar Detox)

So in I came from doing the milking this morning only to hear my children before I even got to the house.  Yes, my wonderful, sinful, young muddlers were in the midst of a finger pointing sibling yell fest.  Joy (insert sarcasm).  I started to join them.
"I don't care, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter!  Whatever it is canNOT be worth the fighting and the tears. It doesn't matter!  I don't care!"

And then it hit me.  I was adding to the problem.  I was making it worse.  I was informing my children that their concerns (no matter how trivial) didn't matter!
Normally at this juncture in the process I would internalize my shame and keep on with the lecturing.  Today I did something different because of two different things that had pierced my parenting bubble yesterday.  The first was this article written by Dr. Vanessa Lapointe of The Wishing Star.  And the second was a long facebook 'note' another girl posted saying basically the same thing only adding the gospel truth to it. 
 

Sooooooo, I paused.

I washed the milk bucket.

I began rinsing the milk filter.

Behind me my son began crying.  Big tears of absolute sadness.  Normally I may have chosen to ignore this.  Or more likely I may have given him a hug, but without saying anything or perhaps lecturing some more.  Today I hugged him and then asked what was going on.  Gulps, more tears, and it slowly came out, "I hate being yelled at and getting in trouble. But sometimes I get so angry I just can't keep it in.  I just go all AAAAAARGH."  Bingo.  There it is. The truth.
Today I helped this all play out different.  Today I HEARD him.  And the truth is sometimes I just can't keep it in and I go all AAAAAAARGH! And the truth is, that is just being human.  Soooo we chatted about that.  How everyone has trouble and does things that are unkind, or hurtful, or mean.  How at some point everyone has lost it.  BUT I informed him that I love him, no matter what, and that we have a great, big God who loves him no matter what.  And that same great, big God will live in us and help us act right with His strength.  Now I was much wittier and gave real life examples of my own struggles controlling my temper, both helping to ease the tension (giggling ensued) and pointing out that indeed "there is no one righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10) Not even moms.  BUT "sin shall not be your master because you are not under law, but under grace." (Romans 6:14) and "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Galatians 2:20). 
 
Let me put it more simply.  This is what my son was told this morning, he was told he was HUMAN, and LOVED with a love that had no conditions upon it. We are sinners, through and through.  We are going to mess up, time and time again, but we can learn from our moments of frustration and anger, we can call upon God to help us and forgive us...and we an realize that we are going to have to do this again and again.  He can KNOW that I love him and he can talk to me no matter what!

The outcome was he returned to doing dishes with a smile on his face AND patience with his little sisters.  It is several hours later and still he is showing patience and love and kindness to his sisters.
ALSO...I am responding to each of my children with more love and compassion.  With a voice inflected with interest showing them that what they are saying IS important and DOES matter.

I know this is a lesson that will have to be repeated, both with my children and with myself, over and over again.  But it is a lesson worth repeating.  I desire my children to feel loved, to change their behavior, not because I have threatened them or yelled at them, but because they desire to show love and patience (with God's help).  I want to see hearts changed first so the behavior changes will stick.  So the behavior flows from the inside out instead of from the outside in.


Menu: Day 7

Breakfast: Cranana hemp protein smoothie (This is pretty yum!)

Lunch: Shepherds Pie with cauliflower/sweet potato mash

Dinner: Leftover Shepherds pie

Snacks: coconut meltaways, chocolate banola, herbal teas

Babies!

Baby, baby, baby.  Probably my most favorite thing about owning dairy goats are the babies.  Every spring little bouncing baby goats make their debut and they are soooo adorable it is ridiculous.  Except this year of course.  Oh, they are adorable, no mistake.  BUT they arrived at the beginning of December instead of the spring!  On the coldest day of the year to date!  With snow falling! (Now I grew up on the prairies of Canada, so this shouldn't be a huge deal, but here in Southern Oregon snow is a bit of a novelty).  Brrrr, goat chores in winter can be c-c-cold.

Two muddlers and 3 babies (Sled, Frosty, and Ginger Snap)

Day 5:

Breakfast: Choco monkey smoothie (I really like this smoothie!)

Lunch: Left over parsnip and bacon stuffed chicken, leftoever butternut squash soup, green salad with italian dressing (homemade)

Dinner: Baked pork chops, cauliflower, sauted zucchini and green onions.

Snacks: coconut lemon meltaway, bitter coconut hot cocoa (oy, so I cheated on this one by adding coffee hazelnut flavoring--it was sooo bitter I would have had to toss it and just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Still bitter, but it took the edge off). Fresh ginger and lime juice 'tea'.

Thief (Day 4-21DSD)

There are times I look around my house in wonder.  I marvel at the cascade of both clean and dirty laundry in my laundry room.  I wonder where those dirty dishes came from (didn't I just do those?).  I wonder if the floors really need to be swept and vacuumed.  I wonder, how did this become my life!

But I also look around and, as frustrated as I get with the perpetual mess, think how lonely and sad I would be if my children simply weren't.  It helps take the edge off all the clutter the little muddlers produce (okay and the 2 big muddlers too).

Littlest muddler stealing my smoothie!

(She did NOT want to let go)

Mmmm, Lunch

Day 4:

Breakfast: Choco monkey smoothie

Lunch: Green salad with almonds, bacon bits, and homemade italian dressing, and grilled chicken breast

Dinner: Bacon and Parsnip stuffed Chicken, Asparagus, salad

Snacks: Coconut Lemon Meltaways

Grrrrr (Day 2 DSD)

Yikes!  I was a bit, um, grumpy today.  My poor children.  I really did try to keep scary mommy in check, and I think I did alright mostly, but my goodness, the sound of roller blades zipping around my kitchen just about did me in!!  Thankfully the sun was shining and at some point the older kids landed outside on the trampoline and I was able to find a little bit of my patience (though it was ragged)
The day ended on a high note with my 1 year old belly laughing so hard she could hardly breath as she rolled a little car down my stomach.  She had me laughing right along with her, pumping endorphins into my brain.

Who wouldn't smile at this sweet face?!

Menu: Day 2

Breakfast: Bacon and root veggie hash (surprisingly sweet)

Lunch:  Mini Mexi-Meatloaves

Dinner:  Curried butternut squash soup (this is one of my all time favorite soups!)

Snacks:  Choco-monkey smoothie, cinnizilla nut mix

Was hungry today, but that was my own fault.  I just didn't stop long enough to really eat a good meal.  Should have added salad to lunch, I think that would have helped.

Triggers (21DSD-Day 1)

Exercise: Ice skating with my kids. Super fun!

Triggers.

I had one today.  A memory trigger.  A moment when that one small sound or sight sends you whirling backwards into days of yore.  I don't even know how to adequately describe my trigger.

The smell of cold ice, and bleachers,

and skate polish, and the musty scent of damp, arena floors. 

The smell of an ice skating rink.

 

I love that smell.  I practically grew up wearing ice skates. It has been probably 11 years since I have even stepped foot in an ice rink.  One deep breath though and the memories flooded in.

 

 

 

Alrighty then.  Day one is unofficially over.  I have survived.  I have felt the beginnings of sugar withdrawal.  It is not horrible just yet, but me thinks it will get worse before it gets better.

On the plus side, I did not feel out of control hungry, and even though I am craving sugary treats I do not feel overwhelmed by the cravings. 

Menu: Day One

Breakfast: Chocolate-Monkey Smoothie--DEELICIOUS!

Lunch: Green Salad with Asian style meatballs and spicy sesame ginger dressing--Meatballs were good, but the dressing needs tweaking.

Dinner: Tuna salad and green salad

Snack: Very small green apple with coconut butter

Even though this is NOT a weight loss program I thought it would be interesting to see what happens in that area.  So I will give you some of my stats today and then again on day 21.  Even if there is no change from now and then, I know I will be on my way to ridding myself of the Candidiasis infection and feeling a whole lot healthier.

Weight: 159.5 lbs

Waist: 38"

Hips: 41"

Bust: 41"

Thigh: 24"

 



New Food Adventure

Let the Food Adventure Continue! 

 

Now that I have conquered The Big Three , I am getting set to climb the next culinary peak.  One that appears almost insurmountable.  What is this vast mountain?  S-U-G-A-R!  And I am not talking about just the obvious forms of sugar (cane, beet, succanat, honey, coconut/palm, etc), but ALL sugar including all things fruity (with a few very, very tart exceptions) and all things fake (which I don't use anyway).  Yikes!  Good-bye all things yummy and delicious.


Now I knew when I found out about my food sensitivities that I also needed to ditch all things sugar for a minimum of 3 months.  Why on earth would I ever try to torture myself this way?   Well I seem to have a mild Candidiasis overgrowth in my digestive tract.  Lovely.
I have unsuccessfully tried since finding out to break up with all things sweet.  I have yet to last even 2 weeks.  This has to be the hardest thing...food wise...that I have ever in my entire life tried to do.  However, now that Christmas and New Years Eve are slowly fading in the rear view mirror, I believe I can now take on this last hurdle (fingers crossed) to the new healthier me.  That said, I am going to be utilizing a new tool to jump start my journey. 


I was doing the bi-monthly grocery shopping (all by myself, no little muddlers) and I ran across this book, The 21 Day Sugar Detox.  It intrigued me.  It appealed to me.  It begged me to buy it.  I picked it up and perused, drooled over recipes, and then placed it in my cart.  21 days, menu's already planned, pre-made and printable shopping lists!  Um, Yes. The prep work has (mostly) been done for me.  A lot of the food my family will simply eat along with me which is even better! 

**Some of the recipes use eggs so I will have to replace those, and some call for seafood in various forms which I dislike and my DH has a shell fish allergy so I will avoid those (except the ones with tuna...I like tuna)**

Now 3 days post shopping trip I am sitting down and finding the replacement recipes for those that I cannot (or will not--in the spirit of truthfulness here) eat.  Also, I am trying to eat up those things in my house that I know I will not be able to resist if they are sitting in my house. 

Like these super delicious chocolate coconut butter cups I whipped up last Friday.  They are mouth meltingly good!  These are my last four.  They will be gone by tomorrow at the very latest.

 

Inspired by my own mother (her blog: A Journey to Health--One Step at a Time ) and encouraged by her to blog my 21 Day Sugar Detox challenge, I will try to blog each day (four kids and homeschooling family that we are, we may have a few misses here and there). I am taking the first step toward the summit. 

Today is Day 0.  The day before I officially begin.

 

Let the Detox begin!!

 

P.S.  Those delicious chocolate treats pictured above?  Yep, gone already.  Sigh, this is going to be difficult.

The Big Three

Time marches on. Time flies. Time rushes past. It doesn't matter which well-worn phrase you choose, they are all true (except when they aren't!)
My baby, which I wrote about in my last post, is now a lovely, chunky monkey at 10.5 months and has been the happiest baby ever.  I tell people she was born 99% happy.  Now that she is older and desiring more independence I would have to say that ratio has dropped down to 90% happy.  Elizabeth is a joy (now if she'd just sleep through the night!)
(I'd post pictures, but my SD slot is on the fritz and I have no way to direct connect my camera. She's pretty adorable though.  Trust me.  Not that I'm biased or anything.)

Now onto the next...
Topic, not child!  I have recently been diagnosed with some super fun (insert sarcastic tone) food sensitivities.  Oh I had kinda figured that I had them because I have almost always had digestive trouble for just about as long as I can remember...starting with dairy when I was a child.  But I had no idea the extent or extremes of my sensitivities.  The first thing to go was the super trendy sensitivity GLUTEN.  In fact I cut gluten out before I ever made it into the doctors (only for 2 weeks though).  Okay, I can live with that.  I have niece who has celiac's disease and a sister who is very gluten intolerant (and recently my mom has been diagnosed sensitive as well).
Then the Dr. ordered tests and when the results arrived she opened our meeting with the oh so encouraging statement, "Well, the bad news is your system is a mess, but the good news is we can fix it."  With that she confirmed my gluten sensitivities suspicions (off the chart, celiac levels, but without the official celiac disease).  The second thing to go was...DAIRY! (including goat milk).  This means no butter, no whey, no milk, no yogurt, no cream cheese, no any cheese, no anything that includes the word milk.  Do you know just how many things have some form of milk in them?  I bet you don't unless you have become a label reading maniac like myself.  The third thing to go was EGGS! Okay hold on, did you know that almost EVERY THING THAT IS GLUTEN FREE CONTAINS EGGS?!  Yup, so now I can't even buy gluten free bread, if I wanted to.  Cookies off the shelf, gone**. Ever tried making pancakes (gluten free or otherwise) without eggs? yup, not as easy as it sounds. (at this moment I will interject that I also have moderate sensitivities to about 8 other foods, but dealing with The Big 3 are all I am handling right now.)

Let me tell you for about a month I was starving!  I felt hungry all. the. time.

I have never eaten so much salad in a month in my entire life.

I have never spent so much money for a months worth of groceries as I did that month.

I have never had so much stress over food as I did that month.

I have never panicked over food so much (I was stockpiling.  If I found something at the grocery store that I could actually eat, I would buy it...a lot of it!)

I look back now and I am thankful to be past that initial stage.  In fact (it has been 4 months since the initial diagnoses) I now have 3 official cookbooks that contain none of the things I can't have, including 2 baking/dessert books.  In fact when my first baking book arrived in the mail yesterday (yay), I opened it up expecting to have to go buy yet a whole bunch more weird ingredients and lo and behold I actually already had everything at home.

That moment when I realized I could go home instead of to the grocery store made me smile.

THERE IS LIFE BEYOND FOOD ALLERGIES!

I'll say it again, there is life beyond food allergies.  Even more than life, there is good tasting, good for you food.
Because almost every processed, pre-packaged food out there is off limits to me, my healthy food quotient has gone up, up, up. 
Salads?  Actually craving them. Bread? bah, take it or leave it to be honest.

So what's next? 
Converting my family over to my way of eating.  The kids are willing participants in this endeavor.  I try to warn my husband beforehand if something is made so I can eat it to.  So far, there have been very few fails.  (waffles without any flours didn't work so great, but tasted delicious as a 'pancake' scramble).

And I have stopped panicking.  I no longer stock pile the junk food that I can have.  I feel like I am almost in my new normal cooking place.  I am getting to know which restaurants I can eat at, which brands I can buy and where I can buy them for (more) reasonable prices.  I am beginning to believe that I can live the rest of my life without The Big Three.

I. CAN. DO. THIS.  My new chant.

**Note**
I have, since that first month, found several brands that cater to people like me.  They even make cookies I can buy in a pre-made packet.  However, these cookies sell for about $5 a box...for 16 small cookies.  A little pricey for me to indulge in too often. And also a pancake mix that I just add water to, but again pricey to buy a package for an entire family.